Hii Everyone,

I am posting this from an alternate account because I don't really want people to track this to the real me.

Feel free to read my previous post Disappointed in myself basically the post is about how I am still a newbie after 5 years of doing CP blah blah blah. Btw thanks everyone for their advice on my previous post, it actually helped.

I am happy to announce that after 6 years of being introduced to CP, I am finally a pupil. It took 70+ contests to actually get to this point and I want to share something about it to you guys. All of these 6 years, I was incredibly toxic to myself about how much of a loser I was for being a newbie, because my whole life I thought I was smart, and that identity being shattered by being a newbie was something I just couldn't bear (you can read more about this in my previous post, linked above).

Now when I am finally pupil, no doubt I am happy, but you know what thought popped up in my mind moments after I reached pupil, "is it really that impressive?". And not even then, I think it was during the contest itself, when I kind of already knew I was going to be pupil. And yes, it doesn't sound awesome to become pupil after solving 700 problems (350 on CF, I think) over the course of 6 years, but the thing is, it's kind of crazy how our mind just rejects all the pain and struggle that went into being whoever you are today.

You know when I reached pupil it was more of a relief than happiness, let this post be a reminder to you all to give urself a pat on your back for whatever rating you are and appreciate yourself and thank yourself once in a while, because your mind will somehow always convince you that it's never enough like mine is saying "it would be great if you were a specialist."

Thanks for reading the post. Have a great day.