Hi.

I have depression. I'm 24, and for the past seven years, I haven't wanted to live. I'm trying to fight it somehow — traveling, picking up new hobbies, improving in old ones. I went through therapies and medications. But it doesn’t help. Nothing brings me joy.

My main account is red. In real life, I try to be cheerful, and only a few of my friends know about my depression, so I don’t want to write from that account. I have a good job, I have friends. From the outside, many would say I have a good life. Honestly, if I knew about someone else’s life with these characteristics but didn’t know about their depression, I would be envious myself.

So… I don’t think posting this will help, but I thought — what if writing here does something? After all, competitive programming is one of the main things in my life, so why not? Maybe this post won’t go unnoticed, and someone will share a similar story, ask me something, or give advice.

Thank you.

P.S. I'm not sure if this email is working, but if you want to send me something directly, you can give it a try: [email protected]. If I don't respond for a long time, you can also try direct messaging me here, on CF.