I am writing this and I'm feeling super depressed and lost.
This is not something easy for me to share, so try to leave a positive comment or don't at all.
I started CP in August 2021, and since the beginning, I have dreamt of two things: participating in the ICPC and turning purple on Codeforces. Not gonna lie, but my journey has been pretty rough. I did not know where to begin or what strategy to follow. I started by learning new algos and solve problems on them, and somehow I felt like I'm forcing my brain to solve this problem using a specific topic. It took me over two years to realize that solving problems without focusing on a specific algorithm was a better approach and made me think freely, and sometimes I came up with solutions better than the intended one (I remember I wrote greedy solution on many dp problems).
I failed a lot. I failed in so many contests ECPC21,ECPC22,ACPC22 and ECPC23 as well as lots of the CF-rounds I started to feel like I am traumatized I cant function well during the contest. It's been tough because I haven't seen much improvement in my rankings.
I'm starting to wonder if maybe life doesn't always let us achieve everything we want or this is just the losers mindset? I don't know I am confused. I'm not sure if I should keep trying or if it's time to accept that these goals might not be for me.
Just wanted to share what I have been feeling lately.







