Because the official editorial is slow, here's mine.

A: look at the arrow colour and orientation — each arrow type is paired up with another identical arrow — other than C2.

B: find the unicode symbol of the emoji in the problem description (1F601)

C: inside the mash of letters, the phrase "XOR MINUS MEDIAN" is encoded, take the xor of the three numbers and subtract the median to get the answer.

D: I don't even fucking know. walk, no, no, no, yes, yes, backwards, seven. Am I a human? Am I an AI? Am I pretending to be a human? An AI? I think I'm doing a bad job at pretending to be both. Ergo I must crawl into a hole and have an existential crisis. Six seven. Six seven. Six seven.

E: pay attention to the spelling of "dikjstra" — this is a reference to mixing up the variables in floyd-warshall's algorithm. Code it up with the three loops in the order "i, k, j" and you get the answer. Trivial, really.

F: someone enlighten me.

G: look at the submissions of "AprilFoolsClairvoyant". He submitted to B, then, I, then G, etc... this spells out BIGCHADJEFF. find the ith character.

H: https://piellardj.github.io/stereogram-solver/. How the fuck do 67676767 people know about this and not me? Cheaters. Rampant cheaters.

I: The three laws of robotics. Isaac Asimov. Robot strategy is to minimise the number of dead humans, then the number of dead bots. I realised the human part but not the bot part..... :(

J: unfortunately there's no smart way round this — just solve all the captchas....

Rest in peace, my dear old sanity, that I never had any of anyway.