MyHandleWasTaken's blog

CP is Depressing
By MyHandleWasTaken, 6 weeks ago, In English

I wanted to share something personal about my experience with competitive programming and how it led to some tough times for me. It’s a bit of a journey, and I hope it resonates with anyone who’s been feeling overwhelmed.

When I first got into competitive programming, it was exciting. I loved the challenge of solving complex problems and the thrill of competition. But over time, that excitement started to change. I began comparing myself to others, and it felt like I was never good enough. No matter how hard I tried, it always seemed like someone else was faster or better. It felt like that constant comparison was slowly dragging me down.

Instead of enjoying the competitions, I started to feel anxious. I would get really nervous before contests, and it became a heavy weight on my shoulders. The highs of solving problems quickly were often followed by really low moments when I didn’t perform well. It was tiring, and I began to pull away from from coding.

Eventually, I realized I needed a break. Taking time off from competitive programming felt scary, but it helped me remember why I loved coding in the first place. I started working on a fun project that excited me, without the pressure of competition.

I also tried to change how I think about competitions. Instead of seeing them as a way to prove myself, I began to view them as chances to learn. I started celebrating small victories, like understanding a tricky concept or solving a problem I had found hard before. That made everything feel a lot better. Rather than pushing myself to be the best, I aimed to enjoy the process. I remind myself that it’s okay to take things slow and that progress doesn’t have to be a straight line.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by competitive programming or any passion, please remember to take care of yourself. It’s okay to step back and find joy in what you love without the pressure. Mental health should always come first.

Thanks for reading, and take care of yourselves!

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6 weeks ago, # |
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"Just think of why you started." -- J Perm, a Rubik's cube youtuber

I heard this 3 years ago, and it makes me keep coding.

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6 weeks ago, # |
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"Comparison is the thief of joy"

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    6 weeks ago, # ^ |
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    only if you suck

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      6 weeks ago, # ^ |
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      But no one can always be the top

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        6 weeks ago, # ^ |
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        then it follows that everyone sucks

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          6 weeks ago, # ^ |
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          If we analyze the problem from your extend, there are diffrences between suck and sucker. For optimisms, they are "good" and "better".

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      6 weeks ago, # ^ |
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      imagine being toxic

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      6 weeks ago, # ^ |
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      false! comparison is unhealthy even if you are better than others

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6 weeks ago, # |
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abdelrahman_samir

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6 weeks ago, # |
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The first three passages of your blog really resonates with my current situation. I am also realizing that, I badly need a break from competitive programming, but I can't take one since all the competitions I've been preparing for are happening in the next 1-2 weeks. It's frustrating because I'm not at my best during this crucial competition time. While I agree with your points, but they don't seem to work for me right now.

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6 weeks ago, # |
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I know exactly what you've been feeling, because it happens to me sometimes too. It's just that the world is full of smart, strong people. Whenever you do something that makes you feel proud of yourself, someone else will have done the same thing, and better. No wonder we call it "competitive" programming.

I think that if we can't keep up with everyone else, we should just try to enjoy the ride at our own pace.

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6 weeks ago, # |
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I feel you but more depressing thing than slow improvement is that

Spoiler
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    6 weeks ago, # ^ |
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    well, IA can't make new (creative) problems, so we can learn for making new challenges and continue improving?

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      6 weeks ago, # ^ |
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      what is your definition of (creative) problem?

      AI can make gazillion problem, in fact there is website which give you cp-kind problem every day.

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        6 weeks ago, # ^ |
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        Well, I don't belive AI can make new things, we train AI with things well know and IA can make some new result, but can't escape of his limits. AI Is like chess, we knowing how to play, and IA only make combination but More faster (with randoms values can make new things).

        An example, do you belive the AI can found how a segment tree work if none of us found it out?, IA can make a lot of problems, but at the same Time, the problems has been Solved, but if IA found a very specific problem without Solutions, it Will impossible or cost a lot (these problems Is like on 5% of codeforce can figure out/Solve). So we humans, we have the creativity in our side (but there have in high difficult problems).

        A stupid proof i have, AI can't Solve the P=NP

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          6 weeks ago, # ^ |
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          why do you keep calling it IA

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            6 weeks ago, # ^ |
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            sorry, I forgot that in english is called AI

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            6 weeks ago, # ^ |
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            a lot of languages like spanish and french have grammars that dictate that the adjective must come after the noun, so 'artificial intelligence' becomes 'inteligencia artificial' in Spanish, and 'intelligence artificielle' in French.

            :)

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        6 weeks ago, # ^ |
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        what is this website

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6 weeks ago, # |
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Same boat

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6 weeks ago, # |
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Happy 17 oct

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6 weeks ago, # |
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As someone who struggled a lot due to many of the things you mentioned in your entry as well (I had to take a long break a few years ago because of what I thought at the time was failing to succeed as a competitor just because I didn't make it to the IOI camps -- I did make it there later as a coach), I feel as if I wrote this, thank you for sharing your story and I hope you are in a much better place now.

I believe that in a lot of situations, we are way too harsh on each other and on ourselves (I did these mistakes in the past too in both directions) and at the end of the day, health should come first and taking things one step at a time is indeed a great way to both sustain the passion as well as to get better results long term.

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6 weeks ago, # |
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That's like my heart talking....and glad to see my bangladeshi fellas wrote it!

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6 weeks ago, # |
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sometimes step back is the key and then step ahead

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6 weeks ago, # |
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Hope a good day

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6 weeks ago, # |
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can relate:(

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6 weeks ago, # |
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Lol, just become red, why are you green, hehe

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6 weeks ago, # |
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I find really insightful your story, I had some similar problems in the past because of a situation like to what you experienced. Thanks for sharing, keep going!

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6 weeks ago, # |
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I learned to find joy in discovering how extremely bad I am at everything, and every contest is a chance to discover a new skill I am cartoonishly bad at. At certain point it becomes funny.

Like not being able to read the statements correctly, or not being able to do basic math, or using bad programming practices that lead to bugs that I cannot find in an hour+, or fighting with C++ during the contest even though I used it for a long time.

I think people feel stressed when they feel like they deserve a higher level than they have right now, due to the effort they put in. But if you really know your weak points, you will feel blessed that you are somehow higher than 600 rating.

The top comments under this blog are some random quotes, so I'll also throw another one.

You deserve nothing. Good day sir! — Axe from Dota 2.

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